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The Rum Barrel
Practically summer here! Here's some monster love.

Shout!

Welcome, 2010...now can we skip to the end of the world?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ah, back to blue, my comfort color. This one's pretty generic and the original image is my background on my laptop. So I'm sure I'll be sick of it in a week.

Things have not been so great. I usually do a bitch post every couple months and I haven't done one in a while, so time's up.

While moving into Libby's room I had to move her furniture out into the back room, only to find a large chunk of the ceiling falling down. There's a really bad leak in the southwest roof that is destroying the ceiling, and has been for who-know-how long. Plus, since the fire on the roof in my room, the ceiling there is leaking into the hallway and my new room. I've brought this up several times but basically, my parents have decided to do nothing about it, and won't until this house literally falls down around them.

I go to work and Christie's her usual bipolar self. She conveniently disappears right before my break and when I leave. She talks to me if I talk to her, but you can tell it's forced, and she probably says about 5 words a day. Like today, she was rambling on and on to everyone about something. When I was in the kitchen with her before I left, I asked how she was doing. All she said was 'fine' and didn't even look at me, just walked out back to her office. I go out of my way to be nice to her and she brushes me off. I just don't get it.

I went back to the doctor about my skin problem and after a biopsy they decided I have confluent and reticulated papillomatosis. Basically, I had a different infection at one point and my skin reacted bizarrely and I got this. I'm on medication now, and I have two get two stitches removed on Monday. The doctor said none of the stuff they can give me works well, but it has been known to respond to antibiotics. All together, it was about $400.

I hate work. I hate myself. I come home, go to sleep, and hope I never wake up. But I do wake up, and I spend half my night feeling sorry for myself. I know I'm never going to be with anyone so I just wish I could live happily with myself, but we just don't get along. It used to be mood swings but I'm not swinging anymore. I've been sitting on the ground for a long time now and the rope isn't coming back.

Time to sleep, my one joy.

"We’ve got obsessions
I want to wipe out all the sad ideas that come to me when I am holding you
We’ve got obsessions
All you ever think about are sick ideas involving me, involving you" -"Obsessions", Marina and the Diamonds